THESE ARE RoCKSBoCKS


Love RoCKS?


Who doesn't? Buy some!


This is a RoCK


Well, it's a digital image of a rock. But how about that drop shadow? It almost makes it look three dimensional, but don't try to grab it, you'll punch a hole through your monitor. It is not a special RoCK. There are no properties within this RoCK that will cure illnesses, make you rich or improve your social standing. It's just a RoCK. It is not even, necessarily, the RoCK you will receive when you purchase, but you will get a similar RoCK. Or a completely different one. It's hard to say. We don't put that much thought into it to be honest. Does it make sense? Not really. Is it worth it? Probably not.


Buy RoCKSBoCKS™ Anyway

RoCK Fact #1

Rock, or stone, is a naturally occurring substance, a solid aggregate of one or more minerals or mineraloids. For example, granite, a common rock, is a combination of the minerals quartz, feldspar and biotite. The Earth's outer solid layer, the lithosphere, is made of rock.


RoCK Fact #2

Rock has been used by mankind throughout history. The minerals and metals found in rocks have been essential to human civilization.


RoCK Fact #3

Three major groups of rocks are defined: igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic. The scientific study of rocks is called petrology, which is an essential component of geology.


RoCK Fact #4

Rock music has nothing to do with rocks. But it does rock, because it's rock and roll music. I've got no kick against modern jazz. Unless they try to play it too darn fast and lose the beauty of the melody until they sound just like a symphony. That's why I go for that that rock and roll music .


RoCK Fact #5

A rock was the first lethal weapon ever used by primitive homo sapiens. A later "Lethal Weapon" was the 1987 film starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.


RoCK Fact #6

Alexandrite is a rock that is said to impart the user with joy, empowerment and, hope. This is, of course, total bullshit. It's just a rock.

Buy RoCKSBoCKS™

















Again, these are literally just RoCKS. But we've gone to the trouble of collecting and attempting to sell them. We set up this website and everything. It's a lot of work... In addition to your RoCK you'll receive a plain black box to store your RoCK in when you're not doing...something with it. There's not much to do with the RoCK once you own it to be honest. But you will own it...so you've got that going for you. Flat $2.00 shipping on all orders.


  • ONE RoCK
  • $4.96
  • Again, you will literally just receive a single RoCK in a white box. There's not much more to say
  • Nothing special about it.
  • No magical properties.
  • Just a RoCK
  • Buy Now
  • TWO RoCKS
  • $8.96
  • Now we're talking! Same as the One RoCK price-point, but now you get double the...fun?
  • Seriously, it's just 2 RoCKS
  • Math has proven that 2 is more than 1.
  • Just Buy It Already!
  • Buy Now

  • THREE RoCKS
  • $12.96
  • Now we're talkin'! Same as the Two RoCK price-point, but now you get one more plain old RoCK.
  • Again, just 3 RoCKS
  • Buy, Buy, Buy
  • Money, please!
  • Buy Now


HOLIDAY "SPECIAL"

















Do you like waiting in line all night on Black Friday for something you don't need? Are you unaware that holiday sales are artificial and that companies simply slightly mark items up throughout the year to make it appear that they are on sale during the holidays? Do you suffer from fear of missing out? Then this option is for you! Celebrate the holiday (pick one) with the exact same thing you can get cheaper above, but at a premium because the word "holiday" is attached. Supplies are limited!*


*Supplies are absolutely not limited. These are rocks. This is called artificially manufacturing demand.



  • Happy Holidays! Let Us Rip You Off
  • $7.96
  • Same as the One RoCK, but for the Holidays!
  • Don't miss out!
  • Basically, the same as buying One RoCK, but more expensive and festive.
  • Don't think. Buy!
  • Buy Now


Reach Out & Touch Us



















We're frankly surprised that there's anything more to discuss. We have rocks. You want rocks. This is a match made in heaven. However, we're aware that there are a lot of sad, lonely people out there who just want some sort of connection in their lives, however hollow. So, with that in mind, we are willing to take your questions and will respond in 4-6 weeks as we can. Please DO NOT send nudes. We are not interested in your disgusting, naked body. This is a business. We're only in it for the money.



What Do You Want?


Tech Crunch

This makes absolutely no sense. Whatsoever....
Tech Crunch - January 15, 2018

Vice

What the fuck?
Vice News - June 25, 2019

Forbes

I have a gravel driveway. So...I can't imagine why I'd ever need to buy this...
Forbes - Feb 25, 2019

*These are definitely not real. But for legal purposes, we have to state it unambiguously. We suppose. We've never spoken to a lawyer. Seems wise, though.